A few years back, I identified conflict resolution as an area of growth. I transitioned from teacher to director. Suddenly, I had to step into a mediator role that I, frankly, did not have the skills to perform. Therefore, I started to educate myself on effective communication, conflict resolution. However, taking this course on communication and collaborating has been the highlight of my graduate studies.
During the recent heat wave, a parent in our center had a disagreement with her child’s teacher. When she came to talk to me, she was upset and emotional. She did not want the child to go outside, and the teacher said it was licensing requirement. The teacher told her the outside temperature at 87 degrees, and did not pose a health threat to the child. Additionally, the teacher did not want the other children to miss what would be their last day outside for three days because the temperature was going to be above 95 degrees from 8 am the next three days.
The first communication strategy I used was listening. I knew the teacher’s perspective as the head of the center, but it was crucial that I understood why she was so upset. She relayed that her daughter has been refusing to drink and eat, and she was afraid she was going to be dehydrated. She was worried. She also believed her wishes should triumph over licensing.
I used active listening by restating her worries to ensure that I understood her. I knew her child was not dehydrated, but she was just afraid she was going to be. I explained the teacher’s comments on licensing. Additionally, I talked to her about the safety measures we take, apart from licensing, to ensure the well-being of the children (e.g., we do not take the children out if the temperature is above 90 degrees, the teachers will not risk the children's safety and will bring them back when they are tired, they always take water for the children to drink and so one).
She was still adamant that she did not want her outside. I resorted to compromise and accommodation. I explain to her that the teacher needs to take the other children outside. I asked if she wanted to take the child in the family room to play until they get back (they are usually outside for 30-to 40 minutes in the morning). She was worried her counselor might wonder where she was. I made a phone call to the counselor explain the situation, and she agreed to let her hang out in the center until they got back.
Even though this did not seem to be a win-win, I believe this compromised accommodated the needs of each one of the parties. She wanted her child to stay inside, and she did. The teacher wanted to go outside with the other children, and she did. I would love to hear the conflict resolution methods you would use in this situation.
Listening to the mother's feelings and concern was a great place to start. You a make a good point, not all conflict will conclude in a win win resolution. I believe that as long as something can be learned from the experience something and been gained form the situation.
ReplyDeleteI think you did a good job at resolving the situation given the fact that the parent did not seem to want to budge on her stance.
ReplyDeleteI am wondering, how old is the child? Did anyone ask her what she wanted to do? Also, did the mom say why her daughter wasn't eating or drinking? Depending on the age of the child, shouldn't she be involved in the process?
Just
Wow! Our class in action! I too have loved this class so far. What an awesome gift to be given the tools for better communication. I hope we all practice what we have learned and continue to grow as we meet more families and get more practice! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI think that you did a wonderful job of helping to resolve this issue. I can see both sides of the situation. I think that listening to the reasoning behind the mother's demands was a good place to start addressing the problem.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!
Jamie